Life's not right. What do you mean I am grieving?

Most people associate grief with the loss of a loved one. Grief is a multifaceted response related to someone or something with which we have formed a bond. As humans we grieve for a lot of things outside of death. We can grieve for:

• the ending of a friendship
• the loss of a job or career
• the ending of a relationship
• the loss of a pet
• the trauma of an accident

Most people believe grief is an emotional response and once we have finished grieving, we move on with our lives. But this is not always the case. Grief can cause physical, psychological and behavioural changes. These can be permenant or temporary and can occur months or even years after the grief event.

Heard of the grief cycle?

When we grief for something we go through a number of phases:

1. Shock - 'Oh my I've just dropped my favourite cup!'
2. Denial - 'Oh I can't believe its smashed'
3. Anger - 'Why did this happen?'
4. Bargaining - 'OK I can get a new cup - I'll be ok'
5. Depression - 'I am sad I broke my favourite cup'
6. Acceptance and Adjustment - 'It won't be the same without my cup but I will be ok with the new one'.

To go through the full grief cycle can take a couple of years (This is completely natural) but occasionally we can get stuck in a part of parts of the cycle and never move through it. Many years later we don't even realise that this is the reason something is not quite right in our lives or we continually repeat patterns.

Client X came to me becuase they could not achieve what they wanted to with their career. They continually had problems in jobs and never felt settled. This particular client would always look back to a particular time 'if only i'd passed that exam my life would be so different'. The client had chosen a career but failed to get the grades needed to get into it so. What they did not realise was that they were griefing for the loss of this dream job and were stuck between the denial and bargaining phases. As a result, they 'failed' at everything they did, always got passed over for promotion and never achieved what they wanted to achieve. This particular client had tried several different jobs over the years but never been satisfied. With a number of analysis sessions, this client was able to work through their grief and move on with their lives to be succesful. The client got to a point of acceptance and moved on successfully.

Client Y came to me because they were unsuccessful at starting a relationship. It turned out that the client was grieving for the ending of their first serious relationship and had never moved on from this. At the end of our sessions, this client had more confidence, greater self worth and was able to feel happier about meeting people.

Client Z came see me becuase they had lost their long-term partner to illness. The death was less than a year ago so I explained that currently I could not help them with their grief. Grief is a natural process that takes at least two years to move through the full grieving process.

If you are grieving give yourself time to heal on your own. Grief is natural and during the early period, a hypnotherapist should not offer to work with you.

Resolving internal conflct with Parts Therapy

Have you ever found yourself torn when having to make a decision? Do you ever sit and have a debate in your head about the right course of action? Ever made a decision and felt uneasy but not sure why? Keep trying but never quite succeed?

A part (or Ego state) is the name given to an element of our personality. We are made up of many different personality elements (both psychological and physical). Most of the time your parts are integrated and all work in harmony to allow you to function happily in every day life.

Sometimes, those parts can become conflicted or fragmented and cause us internal conflict. This can be from the very simple decisions such as whether to buy those new shoes even when you can’t really afford them, to the more complex issues such as wanting to lose weight but never sticking to the diet - “A part of me wants to lose weight but a part of me is not willing to give up the chocolate”.

Parts therapy is used when there is some form of internal conflict whether known or not by the client. The therapist will communicate with each part involved to establish the reason for the conflict and to help find a resolution that each part is comfortable with. There may only be two parts involved or there may be twelve.

Parts therapy can also be used when working with clients who have an illness. For example, I worked with a client with ME and we used parts therapy to talk to the ME to understand why the illness was present. The client found the session enlightening and it enabled us to go on to work together to resolve the clients underlying emotional issues that they were previously unaware of.

In summary, parts therapy is useful in resolving internal conflict, allowing and facilitating emotional release and helping the subconscious to understand previous false beliefs and create positive change.

Wedding fair number 2!

This is my stand from wedding fair number two at Northcote House, Sunningdale. As you can see it was a bit smaller than the first stand. Another good day. It started off slow but really picked up in the afternoon. It was great talking to everyone and getting Sure Life Hypnotherapy in to the world!

Wedding fair 1 - St Annes Manor Wokingham 12/9/10

This is my stand at the local wedding fair!  What an exciting day, talking to the public about hypnotherapy and advertising Sure Life Hypnotherapy

Hypnotherapy and guided imagery

Hello,


Guided imagery is one of my favourite techniques to use when working with clients. I use it both in and out of hypnosis and it’s incredibly versatile. It can be used to work on physical pain, emotional issues and much more. It can also speed healing and allow the body to reduce the impact of many physical and mental ailments. Guided imagery is nothing new but it is an incredibly powerful and natural tool that can be used to create positive and often amazing changes in an individual.

So what do I mean by imagery?

Take a moment to close your eyes and think about either a bacon sandwich or a pot of coffee. When you have taken a moment or two to think about it you can open your eyes. Did you see the bacon sandwich or the coffee? Could you smell it? Perhaps your mouth started watering at the very thought of either.

So what was the point of that exercise? This should have demonstrated for you that imagery is not just visual. When we imagine something we use visual, auditory and kinaesthetic memory to create an image. In other words you hear things, smell things, and taste things as well as see them.


How is guided imagery used in hypnotherapy?
When a person is in hypnosis, their mind becomes more open, memories become clearer, and the ability to imagine increases dramatically. Using imagery in hypnosis is more powerful and more effective than using imagery in every day life.

I use it with clients in a variety of ways. Let me give you a few real examples that demonstrate the breadth of application this natural tool has.

Case Studies
1) Recently a client attended a session with me but started off explaining that they were suffering with bad ear ache from an ear infection and weren't feeling very communicative. So, I decided to work on the ear pain first. In hypnosis, I asked my client to visualise the pain as an object and describe it to me. We then moved on to manipulating the object that represented the pain changing and reducing before going to imagine removing it completely. This client had a really powerful imagination and came up with innovative methods for removing this object that represented the pain and preventing it from coming back.  I then moved the session to focus on the actual reason the client has come to see me. At the end of the session I didn't mention the ear ache but as they were about to leave, the client told me that the pain had gone completely. The pain never returned.

2) I was treating a client with panic disorder whose symptoms included feeling as though there was something blocking their throat and airways. In fact, during conversation the client could often be seen ‘snorting’ just to check that air was not being blocked and they could still breathe. I used guided imagery to enable the client to imagine opening their airways so that they can breathe freely. I also got them to describe the blockage they envisaged and removing it. Throughout our sessions together, the clients breathing become slower and more natural. They reported that their panic attacks had reduced in frequency and also in intensity because the client was able to imagine clearing the blockage. The client went from having several panic attacks a day for years to having them infrequently and usually only during times of emotional upset.

3) One of my clients was holding on to a feeling of guilt and this was causing them to be emotionally unsettled and they were unable to release that feeling. I used guided imagery again to invoke the feeling of guilt and the client manipulated that feeling turning into an object and releasing it. The guided imagery was also used to detach the event that caused the guilt from the feeling of guilt that was holding the client back.

I hope you've found this blog interesting, not too long and not too short. If there is anything else you want to know, just ask.

Welcome!

Welcome to the Sure Life Hypnotherapy Blog page.

I will use this page to update you on all things related to hypnotherapy. This will include case studies, theory, techniques used by hypnotherapists and how hypnotherapy can help a variety of different people with a variety of challenges.

I hope you find these pages useful, thought-provoking and informative. If there is something you'd like me to post about please get in touch catherine@surelifehypnotherapy.co.uk

Many thanks,

Catherine